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Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Confessions of a food snob

I have to admit, I’m a food snob. I’m picky. I’m a vegetarian. And I’m a pain in the ass about food.

I try not to be, but deep down, I know that I am. I will not eat mayonnaise, American cheese or canned vegetables. I will actually make a special trip to get the bread I like from one store and the yogurt I like at another one. I obsessively read ingredients. My produce is organic, my dairy products hormone and antibiotic free. I avoid overly processed foods like the plague. When one of my co-workers told me she made macaroni and cheese for her kids by making the macaroni and then mixing in Cheez-Whiz, I was horrified. Another co-worker told me she had never bought Brie and I thought she was kidding. I buy Brie all the time. Brie and Camembert and Knolblauch (aka fancy German Brie) and overpriced bread to go with it.

But I have a few secret vices that I’m going to reveal:

1. Pillsbury Slice & Bake Peanut Butter cookie dough. I love this stuff. I’m a pretty good baker. I have made every peanut butter cookie recipe I have ever come across. Not one of them has even come close to replicating the preservative and trans-fat filled glory of the Pillsbury refrigerated cookie dough.

2. Tostitos brand Queso. I have tried to make my own queso. I have bought the organic brand (It was awful.) Nothing compares to the glows-in-the-dark orange, incredibly bad for you queso from the good folks at Tostitos.

3. Pepperidge Farm frozen garlic bread. I make really good garlic bread, with olive oil infused with garlic and herbs. It is healthy and tasty and full of pure, natural ingredients. Guess what I’d rather be eating?

4. Entenmann's Donuts. Pretty much all of them. I usually prefer baked goods that don’t have partially hydrgonenated ingredients or high fructose corn syrup. But sometimes I just have to have an Entenmann’s crumb topped donut. (And yes, I love Krispy Kreme too. They seem fresher somehow, and so aren’t making the list.)

5. And, of course, soda. My old enemy Coca Cola. I like ginger ale too. But Coca Cola is the dark master to which I always return. It consists of two ingredients I always try to avoid – high fructose corn syrup and caffeine. I know it is one of the worst things I can consume. And yet I can't stay away.