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Thursday, October 14, 2004

A peek inside my poor, obsessed little brain

Here’s what it is like to be inside my head right now:

Workity work, work, work. Accidentally brush boobs while typing. Oh, they are still sore! Ok, sore boobs, check. Basal body temperature above coverline, check. Tired, check. Could I be pregnant?

Workity work, work, work. Hmmm….I wonder what people are saying online about the debate last night. Check out Slate, CNN, MSNBC and WashingtonPost.com. Oh look, a couple of people have mentioned the weird smirks and odd giggly thing Bush had going on last night. I guess he was trying hard not to look bored and angry like he did in the first debate. And yes! People did notice that whenever he didn’t want to answer a question he talked about education. God, that man is an idiot. I can’t believe he is our president or that he even has a fighting chance at getting re-elected. Oh, and I wonder if I'm pregnant. Are my boobs still sore? Surreptitiously poke self in boob so co-workers passing by won’t see. Ouch. Ok, good.

Workity work, work, work. Is that a cramp? That might be a cramp. Are my boobs still sore? Poke. Ouch. Ok, good. Is there any way a cramp could be a sign of pregnancy? To the Internet!


Click on first Google link: Nope, nothing about cramps on this list.
Click on second Google link: Yuck. Scary pro-life site.
Click on third Google link: Ooh, here’s one.
Cramping could be a sign of:
a) an expanding uterus. Uh, I think it’s a little early for that one.
b) the implantation of the egg in your uterus. Hey, that would actually be happening right about now.
c) an ectopic pregnancy. Oh great. I could finally get pregnant and then have it be ectopic. Hadn’t thought of that.
d) or just that your period is coming. Yep, this would be the most likely reason.

Why do you get your hopes up? You do this every month and then you are never pregnant.

But, then again, one of these times I have to actually be pregnant, right?

Oh, who knows. Maybe it wasn’t even a cramp.

Poke. Ouch. Ok, good.