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Tuesday, January 11, 2005


My friend Jules is in town, visiting from New Hampshire. Yay! Now, Jules has a day job with a company here in DC, which she is about to give up to return to graduate school. And she also has one of those jobs where she has parties and sells things and gets a percentage of the profits. She’s having a party here on Saturday, and she’s asked if I want to invite anyone from work.

Which brings us to my problem. I want to be a supportive friend and bring guests to buy stuff from her. But I work for a very conservative company, and Jules, being Jules doesn’t sell plain ol' ordinary Pampered Chef products. At her parties she sells, hmm, let’s call them sex accessories. Don’t get me wrong – I have no problems with people purchasing and using said accessories. And I know the party will be a lot of fun. But a) people can be weird about sex and might get offended and b) I’m not sure I want to see any of my co-workers waving “the dolphin” around. There are some mental images you just don’t want. I think inviting people from work is out.

Jules and I know all of the same people, so there’s no other pool of potential customers for me to tap. One of my friends may come for the entertainment value, but she doesn’t want to buy anything. I have promised not to yell “Oh my God it’s a zombie penis!” like I did when Jules practiced her spiel on me, but that’s pretty much all I can do to help sales at this point.

So, how much do you think I have to purchase to be a good friend and make up for not contributing any guests to the party?