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Monday, May 23, 2005

Setting a whole new standard

For being clumsy, that is. Not incoherent rambling, although you may have wondered what I was smoking when I wrote that last post. But no, I was neither drunk nor stoned. I was just really, really tired. Complete and utter exhaustion – the cheapest high of them all.

What was I talking about again? Oh yes, my clumsiness. I believe I have mentioned from time to time that I am not particularly coordinated. That despite years and years of ballet, I am not particularly graceful in every day life. How when my bridesmaids and best friends were telling their favorite Hillary stories just before my wedding, it turned into “my favorite time Hillary fell down.” And how I fall down the three stairs in my condo on such a regular basis that it isn’t even remarkable anymore.

Well, I found a way to take it to a new level. On Saturday afternoon, I fell up the stairs. Yep. Up the stairs. You may not have known that was even possible, but let me tell you, it is. I was carrying an armful of magazines and papers to put in a box in the bedroom and something went horribly wrong. It happened so fast that I didn’t even have time to drop the magazines and put out my hands, so I bruised my chest, bit my tongue and really hurt my foot. I was so stunned I just lay there crying for a minute, while Seamus looked at me anxiously.

Eventually I got up. I was really hungry and I had just made lunch, so I sat on the couch eating macaroni and cheese and crying. I must have looked so pathetic. Luckily, John was off taking our 16 trillionth load of trash to the dump, so I was here by myself.

By the time he got back though, my foot had really started hurting. About two hours after I fell, I couldn’t walk. By the third hour, I was pretty sure I had broken my something. However, we just didn’t have six hours to spend at the emergency room, so I decided to wait until I could track down my mom (a former nurse.) She said to put ice on it and elevate it and see how I was on Sunday. And it turns out it is just a bad bruise or sprain. Today I was even able to cram my foot in a shoe and take Seamus for a very slow and careful walk. Hopefully I’ll make it through the rest of the move without losing any limbs. Seriously, who the hell falls up the stairs?